Trust Based Relationships

Below is a comparison list of relationship values.  I am comparing Trust Based Relationship Values in contrast with Tradition Based Relationship Values, because consciousness loves contrast and the differences become more distinct when compared.  This is my own list and attempt to clarify my relationship values.  I hope this helps you in your process, and please feel free to comment below, although I may not answer each individually.


Trust Based Relationship Values
Tradition Based Relationship Values
God is Secure, all loving, and a super Natural Earthy Divine Intelligence God is insecure, vengeful, angry, male
Present oriented Future and Past Oriented
Equity in time getting listened to more Dominate (historically male) gets heard
Living arrangement created to serve needs Assumed nuclear family single home
Fidelity includes transparency about Exclusivity Erotic inner world Fidelity is only about Sexual
Experimentation and evolution of Relationship valued more Security and Homeostasis valued
No one is allowed to give in, only giving to is valued of giving Frequent struggle of the “Fairness”
Love is a freely given Gift Love is Expected
Love is Free Love is Earned
Celebrates individual incomparableness Strives to be treated as Special Number One
True Celebration of what each one brings to the union joyfully Regret for the sacrifice one is making for relationship. (Bachelor Party to say goodbye to freedom and forbidden fruit)
Unconditional love Conditional Love
Love each other’s free will Threatened by, or competitive with, other’s free will
Sex as communion w/Cosmos Sex as Spousal Duty
Seeks expansion/growth in both Stays small to not threaten partner
Trusts in Universe Trusts in the Relationship
Values of restorative Justice Values retributive Justice
Frequently sits w/the unknown Avoids anxiety of unknown thru business, and following rules and roles
Sex is seen as transformative & transcendent for Spiritual Development and Bonding Purposes Sex is for Release
Community Empathize in Empowering Ways Community Colludes in Disempowering ways
Sex is all Chakra Focused Sex is genitally focused (2nd Chakra)

Copyright: Kelly Bryson MFT

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